Zutara: The Untold Tales
by dinglehopper
Summary: A parody.


A fun pointless story I wrote. Do not be offended, for it is a joke. Hope ya enjoy it :)

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One fine, completely normal day during the course of the Avatars journey the trio of kids was flying high in the sky on top of Appa. When suddenly--

"FOOOOOODDDD!" Sokka wailed pitifully, "Must land, need food, must eat,"

"Wow Sokka, that's the thirty-eighth time you've complained about food in the past ten minutes, it's almost as though the author is unable to think of anything else you could possibly say," Aang commented offhandedly, a lopsided smile on his face because a 'lopsided' smile was the only kind of smile he could possibly smile.

"Sokkas actually right Aang, we do need to stop for supplies. Again," Katara pointed out, searching through their pouch and finding nothing.

Aang nodded quickly searching the sea before the author could gratuitously add unneeded imagery and metaphors describing Katara's physical appearance and her philosophy of life and love. He suddenly spotted an island covered with lush green trees.

"How about there?" Aang pointed, "that remote island in the middle of nowhere would be a perfect place to find civilization and a market to stock up on supplies,"

"How convenient and logical," Katara concurred sagely.

"Yip yip Appa!" Aang announced bringing the large bison down into the foiliage.

**Cut to Zuko 3 **

Time froze as Zuko, sexy, angsty, banished prince stepped on deck. Several paragraphs filled with extremely descriptive detail and imagery were written, people passed over them because they were boring and repetitive and all the good stuff happens in short paragraphs and in quotes.

"Uncle! My Avatar senses, they're tingling!"

Iroh stepped beside his nephew, sipping contentedly at his tea. He did not receive several paragraphs of description because he was not sexy, angsty or a banished prince.

"Are you sure you do not mean you are wistfully wondering on the location of the pretty Water Tribe girl?" Iroh questioned with a smile.

Zuko's face turned beet red until he realized he was being horribly OOC so he turned his silly smile to a set scowl faster than a female in an anime.

"What are you talking about uncle!" Zuko questioned indignantly, "And since when have you been so interested in my potential blossoming romance with the Water Tribe peasant?"

"Hmm…. I'm not entirely sure… but it would be cute you know," Iroh laughed good naturedly, "Would you care for some tea?"

Prince Zuko ignored his uncle. Its not like he, Prince Zuko banished angsty prince of the fire nation would ever fall for a peasant that was his enemy and his complete opposite. She was a Pisces, he was a Scorpio, it would never work out.

"Helmsman! Set a course for that isolated island!" Zuko commanded, and while finding this remote island when given vague coordinates would be nearly impossible, it wasn't proving that true love does indeed conquer all, especially blatant plot holes and navigation details.

**Meanwhile back with Katara and those two other characters that lost all importance when Zuko was introduced…**

The trio unpacked. It was boring.

"Guys, hotspring senses tingling!" Katara announced as the boys worked on building a fire, "Its not so far away as to be a pain to get there, but far enough that if some crazy fight with firebenders happened no one would be able to hear it.

"Wow Katara that sounds great!" Aang grinned lopsidedly, "You go wash up while Sokka and I get some food,"

"Okay Aang, considering I'm a master waterbender and am heading to a large supply of water, I'm sure I'll have absolutely no problems defending myself,"

"Fooooooodddddd," Sokka added, hand on his stomach.

**Zu-Zu 3**

"They're here Uncle, I can feel it…" Zuko announced from the shore. Iroh nodded and sipped some tea.

"Sir should we check the coastline?" A nameless, unimportant soldier asked.

"Of course not, we search the woods it's more logical and convenient," Zuko snapped.

The following events are very boring and because they do not involve Zuko and Katara in raw sexual tension they do not merit more than one sentence of description.

**Katara**

Katara grinned as she reached the hotspring. The water gurguled calmly, steam wafting off its surface invitingly. She dipped her fingers in, streaming the water above the surface. She felt as though she was stalling, the reason why, she wasn't sure.

Then she heard a soft noise, shrugging she ignored it. It was probably a cute woodland creature. Humming softly to herself she continued to stall before getting in the hot spring when the sound of loud twigs snapping reached her ears followed by inappropriate cursing. However Katara went back to her humming. Woodland creatures had very naughty mouths these days.

Then Zuko emerged from the woods, stealthy as a ninja.

"Well, well, well…" Zuko smirked, analyzing Katara through slitted eyes. Noting to himself she was extremely beautiful and innocently sexy. He had never seen her up close before, except for that time he tied her to a tree, but then, he was secretly harboring feelings for her then as well. "If it isn't the Water Tribe peasant,"

"Zuko!" Katara yelped surprised.

They stared into each others eyes, raw amber gold, wide ocean blue, a million emotions and words transpired in their locked gaze. There was oh so wonderful sexual tension.

And then, Zuko hatched an idea. A terrible, awful idea. A terribly, awfully, brilliant idea. He would steal Katara, and use her as bait, then the Avatar would finally have to chase him. It was brilliant.

Katara stood motionless during Zukos internal monolog. She couldn't bring herself to attack him. He was just a hurt, misunderstood little boy. His attempts to kill them and capture Aang were just a desperate cry for help.

Without warning Zuko hit her over the head, she emitted a small cry and blacked out.

Zuko lifted her fireman style and turned as Iroh and the soldiers approached the hotspring.

"So… what did we miss?" Iroh questioned.

"I'm going to kidnap the peasant and use her as bait!"

"That is a brilliant and original idea Zuko! I'm so proud of you," Iroh grinned, sipping some tea.

"If only…. If only father was proud…." Zuko sniffed away a tear.

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